Dog Training

by Tom Shelby

March 16, 2026

I can be justifiably accused of flitting from one topic to another, from a Florida travelogue to political shenanigans, to the Iran war, and my current reading material. Today fits the mold, but with a twist.

Paul Winchell made his name as a ventriloquist with his dummy, Jerry Mahoney. Before Winchell, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy stole the hearts of children and adults alike. Today we’re trying out that vein, ok?

“Hey, I’m no dummy,” Kutter mumbles under his breath. “And today is supposed to be my day off, to sleep in and not write anything about a dog’s life.” He looks balefully up at me. “I’m still tired from all those runners passing us on our walk the other day.”

In any case, we want to wish a happy birthday to Joyce’s (your missus’) first-born. Jeremy celebrates his birthday today.

“Well, I’m ok with that. Jeremy always gives me a treat and kind words when he stops by,” Kutter says.

And he’s still working to get his house ready to sell, so he can join his wife Annie, over on IOW.

Kutter’s ears pop up. “What’s an IOW?”

Isle of Wight. That’s where Annie is living since she self-deported to avoid the concentration camps for people not born in the States.

“Will Jeremy move over there to be with her?” Kutter queries.

That’s the plan. Everything is moving slowly, but that’s where Jeremy is headed.

“Doesn’t Jeremy need to train more people to train their dogs?” Kutter’s head twists up to look at me. “Jeremy learned a lot from his mentor, Tom Shelby.”

Actually, I’m reading Dog Training, It Ain’t an Accountant’s Job, right now, Kutter. It’s filled with stories about dog training. You’d enjoy some of the adventures Shelby got himself into.

“As a dog, I could probably write a book called People Training, It Ain’t for the Weak of Heart,” says Kutter. He goes over to get a scrap of paper and tries to pick up a pen in his paw but drops it. “Probably better to let people struggle to find their own way,” he mutters under his breath.’’

Well, let’s wish Jeremy a Happy Birthday, and I’ll go back to reading Dog Training by Tom Shelby.

“And it’s about time for my missus to come into the kitchen and get my treat box ready. I need a snack before my next nap.” Kutter turns longingly toward Joyce as she enters and starts to fill his box with treats.

It’s a dog’s world.

Happy Birthday, Jeremy.

Kutter and the ol’ man